Eventually it’s quiet enough…

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I’ve had a wonderful few days in the shed, something that has been a long time coming, but sometimes there simply isn’t enough quiet to stop still enough to see and to create. This week there seems to be a level of stillness that has allowed creativity to occur. I have been working on this piece of work for nearly two years, a ridiculous amount of time, and since the gauntlet putter-downers have now completed their course as much as they could do, I feel a responsibility to complete my side of the deal – to try and paint as realistically as I can.

The piece is slowly taking shape, and the layers of colour building slowly – the last 24 hours especially has been simply joyous. At this rate it may even be done before Christmas!!!

Making a start

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Although this slide show goes from what it’s like now backwards to how it was, you can get the gist of what I’ve tried to do. The colour of the skin was all over the place, but in trying to rectify this I lost the eyes. I’m in the middle of trying to recapture the eyes now. More pleased with the tone of the skin although potentially not ‘smooth’ nor ‘realistic’ enough for my A-Level student’s gauntlet challenge. In my defence I think I may soak stain the whole skin again like I did in the beginning.

Also realised that the forehead is way too high but can rectify this when the hair is added …. goodness knows how I’m going to do the hair! Aiming to get into the shed at least twice before next weekend now virtual school is starting again tomorrow. But pleased with progress so far.

Progress so far in situ

Taking shape

Space space and more space

Only been in the shed for 40 mins today but made more space…. largely by piling all the junk in one tiny area, but that works for me right now. Just so great to get the space back to a point where work can begin.

Getting somewhere

Shed as was…

So today found me back in the shed, and boy has it been a long time. It’s become a bit of a dumping ground since I started the job so it needs a little bit of a sort…. do you think?!?

Such a phenomenal privilege to be able to have such a space. I forgot. Stupidly forgot. But being back in that space, even just sorting out the bags of school work and books and art work from the dead spiders really changed something in me, or moreover connected something back up within me, healed something I didn’t even know was broken. Excited about what the next few days and weeks will hold.

Work station for gauntlet piece

Work station for more flat pieces

I’m embarrassed to say…..

…. that I’ve been working on this piece of work on and off since March 2019 and it’s probably at the worst state it’s been in for a while, so much so that I think I may white wash it and start areas again. I was so pleased with it around June but that’s sometimes the way a painting goes. You lose momentum, you try something new and in the course of one brushstroke you go from a piece of work that is working well to one that has lost all sense of the subject matter.

This started off as a challenge set by my Year 13 class. I was encouraging them to paint with much more freedom, more expressive marks, more concept than refinement…… and in return they challenged me to paint more realistically, and so the gauntlet was picked up, then set down, and picked up again, then set down! But now is the time to pick it up again and get this piece resolved once and for all. The Easter break and the ‘surreal’ness of the current situation could actually provide me with a chunk of time for the first time in 2 years.

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exploring the work of others

ylena i – acrylic and mixed media on paper

During the summer I was fortunate enough to catch the Vincent Van Gogh exhibition at The Tate Britain. I was initially a little disappointed as the first section was literally other artists’ work and van Gogh’s attempts at trying to copy or emulate them. I was struck by how similar his painting apprenticeship was to the A-Level course: looking and being influenced by other artists in such a way that it develops your own voice.

Now in full time teaching I am finding it incredibly difficult to find time to do my own art but the A-Level and GCSE classes are moments where I can use ‘mock ups’ or ‘examples’ to keep my creative expression alive. Creating a portfolio to enable the students to see the process, the structure and the type of work needed has been a real privilege and working alongside these amazing young artists has also been a real inspiration.

The piece above is based on the work of Joan Dumouchel, her paleness of face, the use of gold in the background, in the hair and on the lip, the soak staining of the background and placement of colour – all these elements contributed to the formation of my own work. My plan is to look at three or four other artists and see how I can glean skills and processes and ways of seeing from them, and then pull it altogether in a series of work. Looking forward to creating again.

A long time and now a flurry….

So, it’s the perfect timing to start six new pieces of work when I’m starting a full time job on Monday! It’s as if I’m having a bet with myself – ‘Ok determined one, see if you can hold down a full time job and still be creative. Do both!’ After spending the whole of the Easter break mainly twiddling my fingers trying to find something creative to do in Dartmouth, I’ve come back knowing that these pieces should have been started a few weeks ago. Where does the time go? But life seems to have taken a complete turn over the last month and what seemed like a potential opportunity has become a reality. Hysterical that I land such a commission in its wake.

Sitting in the shed for the first time in what seems like an eternity I suddenly feel incredibly at home after feeling restless for so many months. It’s as if my head is saying, ‘Right, now is the time. It’s seems so utterly ridiculous but now is the time.’ I’m beginning to realise that I like being busy, that I suit being busy. My brain after feeling so dormant except for excuses is now starting to brim with ideas and colours and creativity. Before it seemed so barren. We shall see. A new chapter and multiple challenges but feel already, on the brink of all this, that I’m closer to myself than I’ve been for a long time.

 

starting early

My goodness, it’s not 10am yet and already a layer of colour is done. Today is hopefully going to be a good drying day and I’m aiming to get some definition with these pieces. My last soak stain layer should go on tonight and then we’ll see what occurs before the morning. I’ve no idea what happens to them overnight, they always seem to change from what I expect, and not always for the better 😦  But at least they’ll be dry layers to work on top of.  We’ll see how the day progresses.

the right words…

I need to write on these canvases earlier on than I usually do and this presents a problem…. what to write? Usually the paintings have formed and developed before I commit words to them. Obviously I have a sense of what they’re about but this usually becomes clearer, more in focus, the more I paint. Committing to words right now is an interesting one.

I know it has to be about the sense of place. Dartmouth is such an incredible space not just physically but for me mentally. My thought processes seem different; I can dream bigger and see clearer; problems seem like challenges and spur me on; I take time to stop and to ponder and to dig deeper than normal – and the irony is that I’m not writing this there 😦

Oooooo. Past diary extracts! Bingo! There’s one on 4th August this year, part of which would suit….. but the pieces are about more than that. The whole thing is a symbol, stitched, constructed, formed. What fabric am I made from? I love this quote from Daniel Christian Bradley in his book ‘Tailored Dreams’: “taking the fabric of our past, tracing out the frame of our purpose, cutting away the excess material, and then stitching it all together”, such a beautiful description of what I want to achieve. We sometimes pick, pick, pick at the things about ourselves that we dislike, or moments we have struggled through, almost to the point that we unravel. If only we could see the full picture and understand that even though some past events hurt like hell, they have shaped us, help form us, made us who we are today, and often they can produce beauty: that strength you find when you least expect it, that sensitivity to someone else, the walking alongside others who have gone through the same, resilience, determination, unwavering desire to live life in all its fullness. Beauty from scraps of material, off cuts, seams, joins.

I think I can start to write now…

 

 

A much needed kick up the rear!

Two things have happened over the last few weeks that has made me awaken. The fabulous and beautiful emporium gallery in Lichfield is closing down, and I had a phone call out of the blue. The first made me incredibly sad. Jannette and Amanda have become much more than excellent gallery curators – they have become friends and their advice to me over the years has been invaluable. They have always been welcoming, encouraging and positive about my work and I am so sad that their dream might be temporarily put on hold. I have absolutely no doubt that they will be back and stronger than before, but it has made me think – this was the only venue that supplied my work, now there is no other and that made me get of my backside and look around. I’ve no idea why I haven’t approached another gallery, probably because I was only producing enough to supply to one. But time to look around and see if there are opportunities I’ve not thought of.

The second was a conversation out of the blue with a complete stranger who had bought my work in the past. I think when you create you sometimes forget where pieces end up. These ended up in north London and it was such a thrill to talk to this woman and see the pieces again en situ, like being reunited with an old friend. Ironically I may have made a new one in the process and it has made me value myself and what I do again.

So, armed with ideas and an ounce of self belief I went to the shed! SO pleased with what I’ve done today. The start of three paintings that will eventually be coastal pieces. I’m so in love with Dartmouth, and it will be brilliant to create some work in which I can celebrate that.

Brought the pieces inside to give them half a chance to dry before I gesso them tonight. Excited again 🙂